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St. Joseph Catholic Church

1875 S C R 700 W
North Vernon, IN 47265

Rev. Jonathan P. Meyer, Administrator

Office Hours:

Monday Office closed
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 8:30 AM till 12:30 PM

St. Joseph Rectory Phone: 812-346-4783
Fax: 812-352-9033

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What is the church’s teaching on cohabitation?

Today many couples (those who are engaged and those who are not) prepare for their possible married life together by cohabiting, or "living together," before marriage. Their reasons for doing so are many and varied: a marriage testing period, financial savings, convenience, sexual needs are met, insecurity, fear of commitment, escape from “worse” living situations, no fear of pregnancy (acceptance of contraception has caused this). Two generations ago living together before marriage was viewed as scandalous by our society. As our society has left behind God and morals, this view no longer exists. Between 30 percent and 40 percent of couples seeking marriage in the United States today are living together. Many people see cohabiting not only as permissible, but also as necessary to attempt to diminish the possibility of divorce or marital unhappiness later in the life of the couple. However, the church does not believe that cohabitation before marriage is a moral or acceptable preparation for this sacred bond. Rather, the church sees cohabitation as a threat to the marital happiness that engaged couples so desperately seek. Cohabitation as an actual threat to marital happiness has furthermore been borne out in recent research studies done by today's social sciences, as will be quoted in the following section. This being the case, the Wedding Guidelines for Jennings County read as follows*: Wedding Size Restrictions-Since marriage is special not only in the eyes of God, but also in the eyes of the Church, living together (cohabitation) prior to marriage is extremely discouraged. Studies have shown that 78% of couples who live together prior to marriage end up getting divorced. Living together presupposes sexual activity outside of marriage, which is a mortal sin. We are willing to work with you if you are in this predicament and will strive to assist you to conform to the beauty of God’s plan for you and your marriage. The church is even willing to assist you in finding a separate place of residence during the six month preparation process. The Church sees in marriage two people coming together to form a lifelong commitment beginning on their wedding day. If you and your spouse have been living together, and other arrangements are not able to be made for the six month preparation period, your wedding should be celebrated with less solemnity. This means a simple “private” ceremony: The maximum number of bridesmaids is one (1) and groomsmen is one (1); this would be your maid of honor and best-man. The ceremony would be best celebrated with only immediate family. Living in sin is a public matter because it causes grave injury not only to you and your future spouse’s soul but also to the entire Church. In planning and preparing for your wedding, the priest is very open to discussing these issues with you. Parents please talk to your young people about this! It is up to you and me to change the culture of our young people. They have to be willing to live the high road or they will end up on the low road. *This is for our 3 parishes in Jennings County; a couple can go to a different, more lenient parish if they chose! But I will not marry them!